The order of this journal is by day, by remembrance of experience, and not necessarily by continuity.
1) To be completely honest, mornings suck for me. Especially school mornings. However, this morning (Wednesday 11/19/08) I discovered something. While walking out of my house to catch the bus (at 6:30 in the morning) I changed part of my morning routine. I looked up. What I saw amazed me. I saw a sky so ripe with beauty that I caught my breath for an instant. The pure, rich, soft colors of the clouds, trees, and air seemed to float melodiously above my head. It seemed as though if I had wanted to I could have reached out and touched them, shaping them with my own hands. But I didn’t want to. It was too great a moment to be corrupted by someone such as myself. I felt a sudden and impromptu change of heart; I felt small and insignificant, but blessed. Blessed and special, and loved – how everyone wants to feel really. The moment then passed just as quickly as it had come when I realized that I had missed the bus. This is incontrovertible proof that “beauty breaks in everywhere”.
This consists of my ultimate dream morning. Either this or rain.
2) (Thursday 11/20/08) Today represented my favorite kind of weather. I love it when it is grey and cloudy. For some unknown reason it makes me feel exhilarated and content. Again, I do not know why this is, but it does. I went through my day feeling happy and content. A little chilly, but easily warmed. It was nice. Looking at the clouds during my off hour I noticed how complex the deceptively simply scene before me was. The soft lighting from the heavy, dark clouds brought out vibrant pigments in the few plants still alive. It contrasted easily with the brown and off-white of the trees and buildings, and gave everything a magical, secretive twist. A soft sprinkling of mist coated the ground, glistening lightly. My mind traveled to the far-off lands of my imagination and I stood there (blocking the doorway) pretending I was actually a noble in some time before me looking out over the misty seas of her lord’s castle. It was pleasant. Until someone politely asked me to move and I was abruptly yanked back into reality.
Aren't fantasies fabulous?
3) Saturday 11/22/08. This entry must be split into several parts because I ended up having more than one transcendental (how I loath saying that!) experience. First, a little background about the day. Saturday I rode in a horseshow near Longmont. The show started at 9 o’clock, which, long story made short, meant that I had to get up at 4:45 and be at my barn no later than 6 in the morning. As you have already read, mornings and me just do not mix. Like at all. But fortunately I was excited enough at 4:45 A.M. to not mind the morning (it was later that afternoon that I ended up taking a 2 hour nap out of exhaustion). Anywho, the location of the barn that I ride at is quite beautiful on a normal day, but being there when it was still dark out and watching the sun rise next to my horse was fabulous. And this time, unlike all the other experiences I’ve so far described (I know, a whole TWO of them) it lasted. It lasted for the entire hour we were at the barn loading the horses, etc. It was a great start to the day. Especially on such a fun and important day.
Then the sun came up and we were in the car driving the hour to the show. That ended my brief transcendental (I really don’t like using that word and any reference to myself in the same sentence. This is becoming painful…) experience. The weather for the show was sunny, which is ironic because I only like the sun when it’s hot out and things are green around me. And today the sun was out, that was for sure, but it was freezing cold. I had four layers on most of the time and I was still shivering for most of it. It was downright brutal. Now there’s a reason I do not enjoy sunny cold weather. It feels bleak, empty, cold, lonely, and wrong in so many ways. The plethora of these kinds of days in autumn is exactly why fall is my least favorite season. Ever. Fall is an awful time in my book. It does not seem beautiful or pleasant or “crisp and cool” at all. It is the end of summer when everything is dying and it is slowly getting colder (which I have no problem with –cold, I mean. Cold is fine, as long as it is cloudy or snowy or rainy or something with it. With sunshine it is the most infuriatingly empty, cold, and vast wasteland I can imagine), but the sun has not yet gotten the message to go away and hide behind the clouds unless it’s actually going to make things warm. Grr. OK, moving on. So that was the kind of weather the horse show had. This was just fabulous (of course). But for one brief moment I was turning Riley (my horse- I was riding him at the time) and I happened to glance upward (this is starting to be a commonality in finding the beauty of nature. Looking for it. Strange.) And I saw the mountains (we were, evidently, facing the mountains). They were beautiful. Now I would even go so far as to describe my dislike of cold, clear weather as a passionate loathing, but for that instant that cold, clear, despicable weather perfectly accented the mountains. It was the perfect combination. The sunlight shown off the mountains, but they still had their snow capped peaks and wonderful rising, jagged peaks. This feeling of awe for the majesty of weather and of Mother Nature fled as I was jolted by a particularly cold blast of sunny wind. Yeah, I went back to whatever it was I was doing before muttering to myself about how blasted cold it was. Or something like that.
4) Tuesday 11/25/08. I discovered something today, or rather, this evening. Despite my under appreciation of transcendentalism, I was unusually unwilling to go to the barn tonight. Which is really weird, because I practically live to ride, so not wanting to go was strange. I went anyway. As it turns out my horse was stiff anyway so we didn't do much, but at least I went. Anywho, I was there, thinking about how miserably cold and dark it was, when I happened to wander outside. I was freezing my pants off in about four or five layers as it was, so I was going to make a quick run to get my horse's blanket and sprint back to the warmer shelter of the barn. While I was running I did that looking up thing again and to my utmost surprise, liked what I saw. The cold, crisp night air mixed well with the starry night sky. I inhaled deeply, actually enjoying the burn of the cold air down my throat. I kept running though, because I was still dreadfully cold. It was nice.
5) Friday 11/28/08. I was over at my friend's house for most of the afternoon and evening today. My original plan was to try and stay there as long as possible, but 8 o'clock rolls around and my mom tells me that because it's snowing heavily she is going to pick me up and take me home. I, of course, make know my discrepancies with this plan, but I am overruled. Shortly thereafter my mom pulls up, but as I'm getting ready to leave, I happen to glance out my friend's window. It is snowing. It is snowing beautifully. I love snow, especially falling snow. I am most happy it seems in some kind of rain or snow. It is dark out, but the snow covering the street, trees, houses, and lighting the air reflects even the smallest amount of light, briliantly lighting the scene before me. This causes me to sigh in comfort and relief as I graciously soak in the winter wonderland.
Image courtesy of google images
Despite, or maybe because of, my small number of entries, I believe I am now able to answer that question which was posed to me. I full-heartedly believe that quote upon which this is all based upon: “Nature cannot be surprised in undress. Beauty breaks in everywhere” (Emerson, “Nature”). If studying transcendentalism has taught me only one thing, it is that there is beauty around us in everything; we only have to look for it. If we open our eyes and let ourselves be exposed, yes, we have a better chance of disappointment, but more than that, much, much more powerful than that is the beauty that we are sure to see. Relaxing and releasing our pent-up tension, no matter what its cause, through truly and deeply taking a risk and exposing ourselves is the only way we can ever discover the sublime. It is these moments, we when are caught off-guard, that our mind breaks through and sees the sublime. That is why it is merely a moment in time, frozen forever and a truly indescribable experience. What I believe transcendentalists are saying is that if we would only take the time and the effort to open ourselves to this sublime, we might find the opportunity to live in its eerie beauty instead of merely experiencing it in brief, albeit glorious, moments. To finally answer this question, yes, nature cannot be surprised in undress for it is always beautifully naked and exposed before us, not posing, not waiting for us, but merely thriving in its eternity. Nature has taken care with beauty everywhere; it is we who must no longer be blinded by its presence.
1) To be completely honest, mornings suck for me. Especially school mornings. However, this morning (Wednesday 11/19/08) I discovered something. While walking out of my house to catch the bus (at 6:30 in the morning) I changed part of my morning routine. I looked up. What I saw amazed me. I saw a sky so ripe with beauty that I caught my breath for an instant. The pure, rich, soft colors of the clouds, trees, and air seemed to float melodiously above my head. It seemed as though if I had wanted to I could have reached out and touched them, shaping them with my own hands. But I didn’t want to. It was too great a moment to be corrupted by someone such as myself. I felt a sudden and impromptu change of heart; I felt small and insignificant, but blessed. Blessed and special, and loved – how everyone wants to feel really. The moment then passed just as quickly as it had come when I realized that I had missed the bus. This is incontrovertible proof that “beauty breaks in everywhere”.
2) (Thursday 11/20/08) Today represented my favorite kind of weather. I love it when it is grey and cloudy. For some unknown reason it makes me feel exhilarated and content. Again, I do not know why this is, but it does. I went through my day feeling happy and content. A little chilly, but easily warmed. It was nice. Looking at the clouds during my off hour I noticed how complex the deceptively simply scene before me was. The soft lighting from the heavy, dark clouds brought out vibrant pigments in the few plants still alive. It contrasted easily with the brown and off-white of the trees and buildings, and gave everything a magical, secretive twist. A soft sprinkling of mist coated the ground, glistening lightly. My mind traveled to the far-off lands of my imagination and I stood there (blocking the doorway) pretending I was actually a noble in some time before me looking out over the misty seas of her lord’s castle. It was pleasant. Until someone politely asked me to move and I was abruptly yanked back into reality.
3) Saturday 11/22/08. This entry must be split into several parts because I ended up having more than one transcendental (how I loath saying that!) experience. First, a little background about the day. Saturday I rode in a horseshow near Longmont. The show started at 9 o’clock, which, long story made short, meant that I had to get up at 4:45 and be at my barn no later than 6 in the morning. As you have already read, mornings and me just do not mix. Like at all. But fortunately I was excited enough at 4:45 A.M. to not mind the morning (it was later that afternoon that I ended up taking a 2 hour nap out of exhaustion). Anywho, the location of the barn that I ride at is quite beautiful on a normal day, but being there when it was still dark out and watching the sun rise next to my horse was fabulous. And this time, unlike all the other experiences I’ve so far described (I know, a whole TWO of them) it lasted. It lasted for the entire hour we were at the barn loading the horses, etc. It was a great start to the day. Especially on such a fun and important day.
Then the sun came up and we were in the car driving the hour to the show. That ended my brief transcendental (I really don’t like using that word and any reference to myself in the same sentence. This is becoming painful…) experience. The weather for the show was sunny, which is ironic because I only like the sun when it’s hot out and things are green around me. And today the sun was out, that was for sure, but it was freezing cold. I had four layers on most of the time and I was still shivering for most of it. It was downright brutal. Now there’s a reason I do not enjoy sunny cold weather. It feels bleak, empty, cold, lonely, and wrong in so many ways. The plethora of these kinds of days in autumn is exactly why fall is my least favorite season. Ever. Fall is an awful time in my book. It does not seem beautiful or pleasant or “crisp and cool” at all. It is the end of summer when everything is dying and it is slowly getting colder (which I have no problem with –cold, I mean. Cold is fine, as long as it is cloudy or snowy or rainy or something with it. With sunshine it is the most infuriatingly empty, cold, and vast wasteland I can imagine), but the sun has not yet gotten the message to go away and hide behind the clouds unless it’s actually going to make things warm. Grr. OK, moving on. So that was the kind of weather the horse show had. This was just fabulous (of course). But for one brief moment I was turning Riley (my horse- I was riding him at the time) and I happened to glance upward (this is starting to be a commonality in finding the beauty of nature. Looking for it. Strange.) And I saw the mountains (we were, evidently, facing the mountains). They were beautiful. Now I would even go so far as to describe my dislike of cold, clear weather as a passionate loathing, but for that instant that cold, clear, despicable weather perfectly accented the mountains. It was the perfect combination. The sunlight shown off the mountains, but they still had their snow capped peaks and wonderful rising, jagged peaks. This feeling of awe for the majesty of weather and of Mother Nature fled as I was jolted by a particularly cold blast of sunny wind. Yeah, I went back to whatever it was I was doing before muttering to myself about how blasted cold it was. Or something like that.
4) Tuesday 11/25/08. I discovered something today, or rather, this evening. Despite my under appreciation of transcendentalism, I was unusually unwilling to go to the barn tonight. Which is really weird, because I practically live to ride, so not wanting to go was strange. I went anyway. As it turns out my horse was stiff anyway so we didn't do much, but at least I went. Anywho, I was there, thinking about how miserably cold and dark it was, when I happened to wander outside. I was freezing my pants off in about four or five layers as it was, so I was going to make a quick run to get my horse's blanket and sprint back to the warmer shelter of the barn. While I was running I did that looking up thing again and to my utmost surprise, liked what I saw. The cold, crisp night air mixed well with the starry night sky. I inhaled deeply, actually enjoying the burn of the cold air down my throat. I kept running though, because I was still dreadfully cold. It was nice.
5) Friday 11/28/08. I was over at my friend's house for most of the afternoon and evening today. My original plan was to try and stay there as long as possible, but 8 o'clock rolls around and my mom tells me that because it's snowing heavily she is going to pick me up and take me home. I, of course, make know my discrepancies with this plan, but I am overruled. Shortly thereafter my mom pulls up, but as I'm getting ready to leave, I happen to glance out my friend's window. It is snowing. It is snowing beautifully. I love snow, especially falling snow. I am most happy it seems in some kind of rain or snow. It is dark out, but the snow covering the street, trees, houses, and lighting the air reflects even the smallest amount of light, briliantly lighting the scene before me. This causes me to sigh in comfort and relief as I graciously soak in the winter wonderland.
Despite, or maybe because of, my small number of entries, I believe I am now able to answer that question which was posed to me. I full-heartedly believe that quote upon which this is all based upon: “Nature cannot be surprised in undress. Beauty breaks in everywhere” (Emerson, “Nature”). If studying transcendentalism has taught me only one thing, it is that there is beauty around us in everything; we only have to look for it. If we open our eyes and let ourselves be exposed, yes, we have a better chance of disappointment, but more than that, much, much more powerful than that is the beauty that we are sure to see. Relaxing and releasing our pent-up tension, no matter what its cause, through truly and deeply taking a risk and exposing ourselves is the only way we can ever discover the sublime. It is these moments, we when are caught off-guard, that our mind breaks through and sees the sublime. That is why it is merely a moment in time, frozen forever and a truly indescribable experience. What I believe transcendentalists are saying is that if we would only take the time and the effort to open ourselves to this sublime, we might find the opportunity to live in its eerie beauty instead of merely experiencing it in brief, albeit glorious, moments. To finally answer this question, yes, nature cannot be surprised in undress for it is always beautifully naked and exposed before us, not posing, not waiting for us, but merely thriving in its eternity. Nature has taken care with beauty everywhere; it is we who must no longer be blinded by its presence.